Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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