Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize