My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
