Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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