thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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