TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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