lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
