I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
