whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
