I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
