she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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