New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
