i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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