I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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