and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
