dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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