Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
