i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
