The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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