I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
