How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
