dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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