He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
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