So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
