I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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