Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
she smelled like a LAN party
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
