That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
