So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
