I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
