a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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