I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
