'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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