Plan B is the new Plan A
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He called his prostate his "boner button".
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
