I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
