Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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