i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
