I hate your face
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Of course I have a pirate flag
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
