He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
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