He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
whose ass print is on the piano?
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
