Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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