I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I need moral support for this bender
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
