Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Randomize
