I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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