You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
