I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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