Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
