The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
