would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
