And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
