no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
