K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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