would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
